A man named Jesus Cantilinarian writes a semi-regular column about Davey-Kins, delving further into the mystery that is Gontermania. He probably spends too much time thinking about a fat kid who wants to fuck Sailor Moon, if you're here, then you probably do too. So have a look - it's good stuff.

An Introduction - Meet Jesus, but more importantly, meet David Gonterman.

"I am a child." - Gonterman: Complete nut case or sexually frustrated manchild? Both, perhaps? JC ponders.

Internet Love Song - In which our protagonist speculates as to the nature of Gonterman's social life, and offers up the theory that David's best friend isn't even a person.

"Same as it ever was..." One of the defining qualities of David is his inability to come up with an original concept. Cause and effect are considered here, to an excellent degree.

"Fuckin' an Animal" - Furries and the modern Gonterman. Involved piece, to be sure. By JC, as usual, with edits by JSP.

"Shock the Monkey" - Criticism is a part of everyone's life. It also is a key component in one of the more critical parts of Gonterman's mythos, and his reactions to it are a large part of why he is such a misfit. Interested? Read.